Hormones are probably the most frustrating and confusing part of human biology. Lest I go into the TMI range, I won't say much more about that. Suffice it to say that 2 days ago I was in tears every 5 minutes listening to songs about a broken heart and today I am playing the love song from the latest Disney masterpiece, "Tangled" over and over again. A complete 180. I've totally confused my boss.
I finally saw Tangled last night and as I expected, it was wonderful. I mean, really good. I laughed out loud. I sang along. I cried. It reminded me of Disney in its glory days with Aladdin and The Little Mermaid with the singing and the love story and the adventure. I loved it. The song, "I See the Light" is today's "A Whole New World." I didn't think I could love Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi any more... but as it turns out I have a whole new level of girl crush/regular crush (respectively.)
Tomorrow I'm going on my mini vacation! I can't wait. I'm going to go "internet silent" for the duration so as to fully enjoy the company, the scenery, and of course - the wine.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
It's a sad song kind of day. I am inexplicably down. I allowed myself in a moment of weakness to wallow in something that I thought I was past and it grabbed ahold of me and now won't let go. Perhaps I didn't give myself enough time to process and work through it the first time and this is my psyche's way of saying that I'm not quite over it. Whatever it is, I'm accepting it for today. I always try to break the pattern of feeling sad by fighting it and posting happy thoughts and listening to happy music, but that's not really dealing with it. So, today is kind of a sad day. That's okay though because I'm pairing it with gratefulness and hope, so things are fine. Here are some of the songs I've got on repeat: Cold Hearted - Zac Brown Band Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri Insensitive - Jann Arden Someone Like You - Adele Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy Standard Lines - Dashboard Confessional Cut Here - The Cure Loving Ghosts - Vedera Torn - Natalie Imbruglia A Little Bit Stronger - Sara Evans Goodbye To Love - The Carpenters Must Have Been Love - Roxette Against All Odds - Phil Collins They are good songs to enjoy when you're feeling a little broken hearted. Let the sadness do its thing and then move on.
Posted by Riss at 10:12 AM
Sunday, March 27, 2011
So this is me getting back on track. I know you feel cheated out of a #23... but it probably wouldn't have been that good anyway. I mean, seriously, you saw what I did when I thought I was on #25 right? Great news, today is Sunday. Sunday is the first day of the week. Friday of THIS WEEK I'm bound for Walla Walla. I CAN NOT WAIT. I'm working on making a mix CD for the trip and am so overwhelmed with all of the choices. Even after I decided that it could be a two disc set, I'm having trouble narrowing down the options. It doesn't help that as I'm trying to make it I keep running into songs that I loved when I first got them and had sort of forgotten about. Then not only do I feel like I need to add them to the CDs, but also I need to listen to them several times to give them proper attention, which slows down the song searching process significantly. Why is music so awesome? Night out was a success and might have even lead to a weekend job. Details to come. Or not. It might just be my little secret. You should watch Archer.
Posted by Riss at 5:23 PM
Thursday, March 24, 2011
A hodge podge mixture of things to discuss: Okay, I can't communicate a thorough review of Rob Bell's Love Wins because I don't have the necessary background in theology. I will say that I am so thankful that I read it. I'm thankful that he asked the questions he asked and provided the insight that he did. It was a beautiful and moving piece of work that will appeal to many people who have been hurt by mainstream Christianity. His theology regarding Hell and the fate of "non believers" may need more Biblical support than he could provide, but I am thankful that is not for me to decide. Hell is a really difficult part of my faith to come to terms with and ultimately I believe I must trust that God is good and that He is all powerful and that one day I will fully know and understand His plan for the world. I think ultimately the question is how I will respond to this new perspective that has been presented to me. What actions do I take now that I have read the book? If it's just a feel good book that made me hopeful, then does it really do me any good? I think I will start by doing my best to be a conduit for the Love demonstrated for us in Christ that Rob Bell so beautifully described in his book. For a very thorough, thoughtful, and graceful review, check out Relevant. Moving on, I need to tell you about Jenny and Tyler. It's been said that I can be a little obsessive when I discover things I love. I prefer the term "thoroughly passionate" but am also willing to call a spade a spade and say that I can get a little obsessive. This is most true when it comes to music, television, and authors. Jenny and Tyler are a married couple that also happen to make beautiful, poignant music about faith and love and more. You can listen to their latest album in its entirety at their website. To me they are like Mat Kearney + Sixpence None the Richer + She & Him which of course = LOVE. Please check them out. In other news, Gen X radio KC is now a thing of the past. This is incredibly upsetting. The new station will be yet another pop station just like the other crappy ones KC already has. The good news for me? I no longer have to feel guilty orlike I'm being disloyal making the transition to satellite radio. Here is the email I wrote to the "new" station: Gen X was the best thing to happen to KC radio in ages. Although the songs were older, the idea was fresh and new. I heard songs that inspired nostalgia. It was impossible to listen to 99.7 for more than 15 minutes without hearing at least one song that put a smile on my face. I am very disappointed that Entercom has decided to replace it with just another clone of the other KC pop radio stations. I’ll be keeping an ear out 3 months from now when this format fails in the saturated market that is Lady Gaga and Bieber fever. Meanwhile, I will be giving up on Entercom altogether by making the switch to satellite radio. I put up with the commercial breaks when I listened to Gen X because it was worth it to me to be able to hear a Spice Girls song followed by MC Hammer. Now, however, with the changes made on the only other listenable station in Kansas City (96.5) combined with switching this station into one that will undoubtedly play the same Nickelback song 25-30 times a day (I suppose it could be different ones, they all sound the same to me.) it is no longer worth it to try to support local radio. I suppose I should thank you for removing the guilty conscience I had for considering satellite radio during a free trial anyway, as the only thing holding me back was the desire to stay loyal to a station that could go from Sir Mix a Lot to New Kids on the Block. Now that it's just another station that for reasons I don't understand thinks that Ke$ha possesses any form of talent, I can move on without looking back. Just know that I'm not the only one going. That's all for today. Tomorrow is Friday and I'm going OUT. Booyah.
Posted by Riss at 7:29 AM
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
I started the 30 Day Shred this week. Consequently, I've been walking around like an old woman and cringing "ow, ow, ow" every time I get up after sitting for an extended period of time. Jillian Michaels is clearly angry at me for some reason. I just wish I knew why. Another effect of the early morning workouts is that it is currently 9:20 in the morning and I feel like I need a nap because I've been up since 5. It doesn't help to know that tonight is a late night with Solace House and I won't be getting home to go to my sweet, sweet bed until well after 9pm. Ack. However, the swimsuit season is slowly creeping up on me and I'd really like to have at least a modicum of tone when it comes round to the time of boating and poolside sunbathing. So, shredding it is, painful though it may be. I actually feel pretty good... in a completely intangible non physical way. The workout seemed a little easier today but then when I got out of my car when I got to work my legs nearly collapsed under me so I wasn't able to get too cocky. Here's a countdown: NINE days until I fly out to Washington for a weekend of wine and wonder with my friend Amy! I seriously can not wait. I need a vacay something fierce. Nine days is not that many days. I finished Rob Bell's newest, Love Wins yesterday. I'm still processing, but I think overall it left me feeling hopeful and yes, quite loved. I'm going to let it marinate another day or so and then see if maybe I can try my hand at writing some sort of review. Well, that's really about all the noteworthy bits and pieces of my life today.
Posted by Riss at 7:15 AM
Sunday, March 20, 2011
There are so many status updates and tweets that I just don't understand or care about right now. Today's blog is brought to you by Procrastination - slowing Marissa's productivity since 1984. All I need to do is write a dinky 3 page paper for my Research Design class. I could probably get it done in an hour - 2 tops. Let me tell you the story of my day avoiding writing this paper. I got up at a decent hour and went to church with the fam. With windows down on the way home to enjoy the first day of Spring, I stopped at Sonic for my customary post church drink. I got home and promptly watched a few episodes of Scrubs. Then I read a couple chapters of Rob Bell's latest (I'm controversial like that) and accidentally took a nap. (Note, in this context, accidentally means "put down my Kindle, turned to my side, and closed my eyes until I dozed off.") When I awoke from my nap I walked out into my living room to find that somehow my front door hadn't latched and the breeze from my open screen door had forced it to be open. Now, I have no clue how long my apartment was completely available to thieves and murderers and rapists as I slept, but I do know that my cat is not an adventurer and was hiding out under the dining room table. He did not trust the outside world and did not run off, thank goodness. So then I thought I should really buckle down on my paper but wouldn't a workout be great first? I did my first day of Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. I do not know what I ever did to piss Jillian off but for some reason she has it out for me. During the floor/abs portion of the workout I noticed how awful my carpet looked. It desperately needed vacuuming. That would have to happen before I could get anything else done. I drove to my parents' house and stole their vacuum because I don't have one of my own at this point. While I waited for the baking soda/oxyclean combo to settle before I vacuumed, I turned on some music and decided along with The Killers that I was more dancer than human. Finally, I got the apartment vacuumed but then had to drive the vacuum back to my parents' house. On the way back I was so proud of myself for getting that done that I stopped at Red Mango and got myself some delicious frozen yogurt and fruit. Now, here I am, back at home and ready to get busy. As soon as I finish this blog. Also, yesterday I got my hair cut. It looks like this:
Posted by Riss at 6:29 PM
Thursday, March 17, 2011
It's St. Patty's Day! I, of course, am pulling out all the stops. See, it's like a pot of gold is hanging from my ears. Like I've said in other mediums: I would have gotten a shirt but they don't make any that say "I'm not Irish so I'd prefer if you kept your lips at an appropriate distance." When I said something kind of like that to my boss he responded with: "so instead of 'kiss me I'm Irish' it's 'wave at me from an appropriate distance because I'm not." He knows me so well. I've been listening to some celtic/rock/punk style music today in The Elders, Flogging Molly, and other bands on that pandora station. I ate Lucky Charms for morning. Not "breakfast" per se because I munched on them pretty continously from the time I started driving to work until about 10am. And when I say I had Lucky Charms, I really mean "I picked out all of the marshmallows from the box and ate a few of that other crap in there with them to justify my massive sugar intake." Festivities continue after work when I go to drink some green beer at Houlihans. Luck o' the Irish. I don't know what that means.
Posted by Riss at 11:33 AM
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Ah, alliteration. You are my favorite of the literary devices, with all your similar sounds and tongue twisting ways. It is going to be like 69-70 degrees today. And sunny. I'm in the office for a good portion of it, but I leave at 3:30 on Wednesdays for internship class and THIS week is Spring Break. Now, that doesn't really mean too much for me anymore because aside from classes I have an internship and a full time job BUT... today it means something. It means that when I leave the office at 3:30... the time is mine to spend in the sunshine. I'm considering wearing a maxi dress every day. I'm a little uncomfortable with the term "maxi" in fashion but the comfort of feeling like I'm wearing a nightgown totally makes up for that. This one has navy/white stripes because I'm so obsessed with the nautical look for Spring/Summer. Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. I have something a little special planned. And I'm hoping to drink some green beer.
Posted by Riss at 9:43 AM
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
So far, so good. The sun is shining, the cookies are a hit, and I can't stop listening to The Airborne Toxic Event. They are FINALLY releasing a new album at the end of April and I am dying for it. I die. I die for them. I would list their first/self titled album among my favorites of all time. There has not been a band that I have connected to like I have them probably since college. There have been others that I have liked, loved even. It's all about the connection though. When I can come back months later and still really feel it when I listen to the music. So good. I hope their second album lives up to the standard set by the first. If the single, "Changing" is any indication, the answer is that it will. For my triumphant Tuesday outfit I am donning my strapless khaki dress for the first time this season (with tights and a cardigan though... it's only in the 50s outside and there was still frost on my car this morning). The real winning part of it is a beautiful ivory scarf. If I were cool like Kendi Everyday, I would have awesome pictures of me looking awesome in my awesome outfits but I don't have those kind of resources. Plus, she is way more awesome than me. Probably the only thing I'm going to miss about winter is getting to wear tights. I love the tights/boots combination. However, Jergens self tanning/firming lotion and I have been hard at work these past few days preparing for the warmer weather and I can now say that I am ready for my legs to come back out. Be looking for them on Thursday.
Posted by Riss at 10:44 AM
Monday, March 14, 2011
Blog #40: The guy with the power drill in the next office obviously doesn't realize how much I need to hear my music today.
But that's beside the point. It is my 40th blog. Before you panic and start to have post traumatic flashbacks of Blog #25 when I got it into my head that I was going to make a list of 25 things that ended up being long AND physically painful, let me give a disclaimer. I am not going to try to commemorate the number 40. Let's all collectively breathe a sigh of relief together. There, that's better. I've found that life at work gets increasingly dull when the boss is out of the office. I'm going to need to think of ways to spice things up on my own. I think I'll give each day this week a theme. Today doesn't count because it's snowy and gross and I just thought of the idea. Tuesday will be "Triumphant Tuesday." I will celebrate the things that I am good at. I will wear an outfit I'm particularly proud of, bring cookies because I'm the best at cookies, and listen to the playlists that I'm most proud of making. That works because so far it's the only day of the week that I have anything at Solace House, and I like to think I'm good at that too. Wednesday: "Warm Weather Wednesday". My outfit will be beach inspired and I'll enjoy an icy cold beverage (non alcoholic of course) at my desk. I'll also be listening to all of my favorite summer tunes, including "Kokomo" by The Beach Boys. Get there fast and take it slow. Thursday obviously is St. Patrick's day. I will wear green and probably also some leprechaun ears. Then that night I will drink some green beer because it is the right thing to do. I will consider eating corned beef but not cabbage because cooked cabbage is gross. I'll have the Elders playing all day though, maybe with a little Flogging Molly. Friday: Freak Out Friday - dance party all day long at my desk. Outfit to be slightly "club" inspired (though still work appropriate) and disco/80's tunes will be playing. Feel free to join me in any of these days.
Posted by Riss at 11:58 AM
Friday, March 11, 2011
Wednesday afternoon, I lamented "Why God?" because my office smelled like buttered popcorn. This morning, a massive earthquake & tsunami obliterated Japan. I believe that is what is often referred to as "perspective." I am, as always, grateful for stability and safety in my life. I'm saddened by yet mindful of those who aren't as fortunate. Please keep Japan in your thoughts and prayers and donate to the Red Cross if you can. You should be able to text "RED CROSS" to 90999 to donate $10 added to your phone bill.
Posted by Riss at 1:58 PM
Thursday, March 10, 2011
It's MAR10 today, which would be a lot more exciting if I got to spend it playing various forms of Mario Brothers video games . Instead, I'm at work putting numbers into spreadsheets and shopping online for a new bow tie for my boss so that he can meet Senator Moran (R-KS) in style. One time my best friend Catharine and I had an argument over who was the best at old school Mario Brothers but I'm pretty sure that ended in a tie. Yesterday, at approximately 3:15pm, the unthinkable happened. The smell of thickly buttered popcorn once again permeated my work area - the whole executive wing really. "WHY, GOD?" I lamented in anguish. I am hopeful that it was a one time occurrence but should the same faux paus be repeated, I'm going to have to get a little catty. "Can't you do that in the common break room? We'd rather not smell your fattening and unhealthy afternoon snack here in the executive wing." I need to get away. Thank the Lord for Southwest Airlines and my mini vacation planned in a mere 21 days (3 weeks!) Some wine would be really great right now. Come to think of it, there are several bottles in the bar in Bart's office and he is out for the next couple of weeks. Perhaps I would be more productive and all around likable if I took up morning drinking. I'm going to try my "be intentional about doing something nice for someone every day" plan for Lent again this year. Last night I brought treats to the Solace House gang. Let me know if you have any "random acts of kindness" ideas for me. The only thing I could give up right now that would actually be some kind of sacrifice would be coffee/caffeine, and that's just crazy talk. I'm a grad student who works full time. I'd kind of like to be able to function. If you read this far you should get a medal. Here:
Posted by Riss at 5:56 AM
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Happy Fat Tuesday. I actually am kind of disgusted with the idea of a holiday with the word "fat" in the title so I am celebrating the fact that I weigh about 3 pounds less than usual today and plan to maintain that by NOT overindulging on crappy food. Maybe instead I will indulge in other kinds of guilty pleasures, like that Keri Hilson song, Pretty Girl Rock. She is an inspiration to girls everywhere. I told everyone on Facebook about how much I hoped my Research Design test was a test on how good I was at taking tests rather than a test on how much effort I've actually put into the class so far. (Aren't status updates wonderful? They're like mini little blogs that that people actually read. Or at least, I actually read everyone's status updates, but I am kind of loserish and a little obsessive compulsive in the need to be caught up on all my social media.) Anyhow, the good news is, it was. It was a test written basically like every other test I've taken and I happen to have this God-given ability to excel at taking tests even when I have decided not to prepare too seriously for them. This is good news because we've been in class for a good 6 weeks or something ridiculous like that and it has not even been a full week since I finally bought my text book. Additionally, I gave up on reading it after I came across this sentence, "Probably the most popular part of the internet is the World Wide Web." Okay, so I didn't necessarily give up on reading it at that point because then I was intrigued at what else awesome it might say and it did not disappoint when it used "search engine" as a bolded vocabulary word. So, instead of saying I gave up on reading it at that point in Chapter 3 (about gathering sources for a lit review) I should say I gave up taking it seriously. I gave up taking the class seriously before it started because that is what happens when you're about to take a class you really didn't want to take in the first place so you put it off to the last possible moment. I will keep going though because my teacher is a funny lady and I like funny ladies. Also, because despite the very little amount of motivation I have for the class, I still need to finish the program with a cumulative 4.0. Missing out at this point would be beyond demoralizing. I would talk about my weekend now but as wonderful as it was, it was also exhausting and talking about it is only going to negate the effects of the extra strength 5 hour energy shot I downed this morning. I'm debating throwing in a coffee because I have this weird, high risk addicition to caffeine but I am also neurotic about heart attacks so I'll probably hold off awhile. I did pick up these glasses though: Please don't judge me for buying $10 non prescription glasses. I actually do have the need for and occasionally wear prescription glasses and mine are like 4 years old and I need to get an eye exam and get new ones and I have been wanting to try these but just wasn't sure how much I would like them in the long run and if I was actually cool enough to pull them off so I thought I would spend $10 at Charming Charlie now and give them a test run rather than spending $300 only to find out that I can't pull them off. WOW, that was a long sentence. I better take a break.
Posted by Riss at 5:32 AM
Friday, March 4, 2011
I have a new obsession, and that is this song by Andrew Peterson. Holy mackerel. Love. It wins on so many levels. Okay, and speaking of "winning" I would just like to point out that I was ALL about winning before Charlie Sheen made it a catch phrase. Just goes to show you, it doesn't matter how much you say something - if Charlie Sheen says it later it becomes his legacy. We can't all be warlocks with tiger blood. I was thinking the other day about learning things the hard way and how that always seems to be something people want to avoid. Yesterday. I was thinking about this yesterday not the other day. Anyway, it occurred to me that maybe we all need to be a little less self protective when it comes to learning things the hard way. The lessons I remember the most and that have shaped my world view and paradigm of life are those that I learned the hard way. Sometimes I think you don't really learn something until you've learned it the hard way. Research design science calls that empiricism. (I had to throw that in there because I'm proud of myself for reading the first chapter of my textbook last night even though we've been in class for six weeks and have a test over the first five chapters on Monday). Anyhow, the basic tenet of empiricism is that you can't actually know something unless you experience it. Now, I believe there are a lot of things that you can know without having necessarily experienced them. That's how we have things like faith and instinct. However, when it comes to actually learning something - there has to be some sort of experience involved. For instance, just being told "don't pick up your straightening iron from the hot end" might be enough to learn not to do that, but after I actually picked up my straightening iron from the top end scalding my fingers and causing me to leave the following church service twice to run cold water over them to ease the pain, I really learned it. Here's another one. I can read in a professional etiquette class that you need to check, double check, and triple check the name in the "send to" box of emails but until I actually slipped up and sent a joke meant for my boss to a vendor I didn't really know it. Thankfully I didn't lose my job, but I was so mortified that I still physically cringe when I think about it. It's actually a hilarious story now but I can't share it on here because it doesn't sound as funny written. The way I view relationships and potential relationships would not be what it is now if I hadn't learned the hard way not to count my chickens before their hatched. Now, I don't have or want any actual chickens, but you get my point. It's a metaphoric way of saying "don't count on things working out a certain way when they haven't yet."That's something I think I'm in the process of learning the hard way. It's kind of a lot like learning not to pick up a hot straightener. Now some things you really shouldn't learn the hard way - like "don't shake a baby" or "don't use your hair dryer in the bath tub." Don't be afraid, though, to take risks and screw up and get hurt. Pain is an inevitable part of life and we have the opportunity to learn and improve from it.
Posted by Riss at 5:59 AM
Thursday, March 3, 2011
One of the really fantastic things going on in my life lately is the variety and excitement in my weekend plans. Instead of doing the same thing every weekend, I've had different people to hang out with and activities to enjoy. Probably my favorite thing is that I've had a chance to spend a lot of time "out" with my favorite girlfriends. Three of the past four weekends have included GNO type nights and I've got another one tomorrow. Being out and feeling like I look good is always a good time. The problem, though, is that I have absolutely zero game. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any interest in "hook ups", and I don't believe there's very much relationship potential with the guys that I meet while I'm out. I just wish that I could have a conversation and even flirt a little and enjoy some male attention. And I'm just not sure why that never happens for me (well, not when I'm at my most lucid anyway - if you know what I mean). Let me share with you my strategy: Step 1: Go to a local watering hole with two of your married friends and sit at a table. Step 2: Notice a very attractive guy sitting at the bar. Discuss with your friends. Step 3: Come up with several hilarious lines that you would use as opening lines in a conversation. Do not actually walk up to the guy and say any of these things. Step 4: Find a reason to walk by where the guy is sitting and then back to your table. Repeat once or twice. Step 5: While back at your table with your friends, pretend to make "come hither" faces while his back is turned. Step 6: Laugh at the very drunk girl hitting on the attractive guy. Step 7: Go up to the bar right next to attractive guy's spot. Do not make eye contact with attractive guy. Order a water. Go back to your table. Step 8: Animatedly engage in very exclusive people watching with your friends, so that it's clear you're not really interested in allowing new people into the circle. Step 9: Occasionally glance at attractive guy to see if he looks your way. Step 10: Pay your tab and leave. See, I just don't get why that doesn't work.
Posted by Riss at 7:51 AM