Friday, June 3, 2011

Blog #63: Free Food Friday

I haven't paid a dime yet for the special treats I've gotten to enjoy today, and it will only continue. By some stroke of luck, there were bagels being passed around the office right around brunch time, so my boss and I split one. I could have eaten a whole one on my own but we were going easy on it because it was almost time for our PIZZA lunch. My boss bought all of us in the management section pizza from D'Bronx and it was glorious. Later this evening the BFF and I are being treated to the Frank White Lounge at the Royals game (also c/o my boss) where food and drinks flow free and in abundance. We're talking some pretty delicious nachos. Plus, food ALWAYS tastes better when 1. someone else makes it and 2. you don't have to pay for it. Using that logic, today is delicious.

I had to go to pick up supplies today for our company softball team. I might occasionally go watch them play but I am refusing to pick up anymore consistent time obligations. Just say no, Marissa. Anyhow, so I go to Dick's because it seemed like the logical choice only to find that the cheapest adult slow pitch softball bat they carried was $90. Granted, it's not my money but keep in mind this is for a team that didn't win a single game last year. We're hardly serious enough about softball to spend $90 for a single bat. So, I left Dick's and faced the music.

 I was going to have to shop at Walmart.

Now, ordinarily I would just go to Target for this sort of thing, but I'd already taken the gamble to go the opposite direction to go to Dick's and now if I wanted to go to Target I would have to go all the way on the other side of the highway when there was a Walmart right on the way back to the office. I have been to this particular Walmart a few times, usually to pick up half and half on the way to work when we're running low. It's my unofficial duty. Every time, it's been an uncomfortable experience. I've found that there are exactly 3 Walmarts at which I've ever had a pleasant experience. The Walmart in Maryville, which duh - college town - was usually pretty hoppin' with my kind of people. The Walmart in Gardner was newer, clean, and very small town. Finally, the Walmart in Woodland Park, CO had just been built when I stayed out there in 2007 and it felt more like a Target to me. Compare that to the fact that I don't think there's a Target around at which I haven't had a positive experience. It's a completely different feel and clientele.

So there I am, at Walmart, picking out bats. There's this little girl yelling (literally, YELLING) "MAMMA! MAMMA! COME'ERE!" (disclaimer: this little girl was not lost. She knew where her mamma was. She wanted her to come see a toy she wanted.) Mamma did not respond. The little girl was persistent: "MAMMA! MAMMA! COME'ERE!" Then, her sister responded from the aisle "WHAT YOU WANT?" and the little girl adeptly answered "TELL MAMMA TO C'MERE!" Mamma was nearby the whole time and did nothing to respond to this situation.

 Now I practiced GREAT self restraint. There I was, right next to the baseball bats, holding one IN MY HANDS, but did I turn around and swing it full force at the little girl while yelling "SHUT UUUUUUUP!!!!"? No. Did I go on a hunt down the aisle that girls "mamma" was to give her a talking to about allowing her child to scream in public (while menacingly holding the baseball bat in a  threatening manner)? No. I simply got the softball supplies as quickly as I could and got the HELL out of there. I'm proud of myself.

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