Sunday, January 30, 2011

Blog #27: Breaking up is hard to do.

So you'd like to hear about my weekend. Let me tell you. It all started Thursday night with the call from my boyfriend that began with the dreaded words, "we need to talk." It ended how those talks usually end. Somehow I managed to call my mom right after. It was around 10:30pm on a week night, and I knew she'd be going to bed. BUT... when you need your mom, you need your mom. I'm not entirely sure how she managed to understand the words between my sobs and blubbers, but eventually I was able to communicate to her that I needed her to come over, which she did. Thank God for moms, right? She came over and let me cry and said the things mom's say when their daughters have their hearts broken. So, Friday I went to work in a zombie sort of state, and got through the day with only having to go to the bathroom to weep bitterly about 3 times. I did have some wonderful Mexican food for lunch with Mom & her boss to help cheer me up. I left work in the same zombie state, drove all the way to the Hyvee across the street from my apartment, and realized I left my purse at my office. So, I drove 25 miles BACK to work, got my purse, and turned off the alarms that were going off for whatever reason. Then, I drove back home in the same zombie state... but not without complications with the City of Overland Park. At that point, I had lost every form of appetite and strength that I had left so I just went to bed. Saturday was a different story. I made it to internship orientation and then got back to my apartment where it was time to hit the bed again. My plan was to get some dinner and watch some sad movies. I ended up drinking a bottle of wine alone while bawling my eyes out to PS. I Love You. It was needed and yet still miserable. Today was a little better. I got some quality baby time with my new nephew and some quality girl time with my sister in law over margaritas. And now for the moral of the story. Back in like 2007 I had this thing called "heartbreak day" with my best friend. The idea was that heartbroken girls don't know how good they have it because they get to eat all the ice cream and chocolate they want and cry all the time and no one judges them because they are heartbroken. So, we made a sad song playlist, ate comfort food, and watched sad movies while we drank. I am here to tell you now that it is SO not worth it. I would trade all the ice cream and chocolate in the world not to feel like this. But, because I always love a bright side, I will say that I have felt SUPER connected with my old college music because of this situation and it has made for some real great driving moments while Brand New's Jesse Lacy sings "Back at school they never taught us what we needed to know like how to deal with despair or someone breaking your heart..." or to hear Taking Back Sunday belt out, "It's never bad enough to just leave or give up but it's never good enough to feel right." So, long story long, heartbreak sucks and is miserable and I hate this. However, life goes on and I'll be okay. I just need to trust the process. I win by finding a way to be happy despite how I'm treated... so I'm going to find a way to be happy. If you read this far, I could really use some perspective. How do you deal with heartbreak?

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