Blog #15: The Smoke Alarm Incident and the 95th St. Snafoo

I have two stories to tell you. Both involve me being humiliated, so you know they're good. Before I tell you the humiliating stories about myself, however, I feel the need to remind the world and myself that I am in fact quite a productive and well functioning member of society. I put together a rockin' party for 300 people, confirmed a 4.0 in another semester in grad school (including getting a 99 on a 100 question test that I took in 10 minutes), AND managed to get a whole bunch of kick ass gifts for all my loved ones. So, neither of these stories should be seen as indicative as to my intelligence and usefulness overall as an individual. The Smoke Alarm Incident: I am a decent cook and an excellent baker. I can follow a recipe really well and make things that are pretty delicious. My chocolate chip cookies have been described with words like "epic, wonderful, and best ever." That being said, sometimes I lose a little something in the "attention to detail" area of my life. I was tired, hungry, and ready to curl up on my couch to finally watch the season finale of The Sing Off a day late after traipsing my sister around town shopping for mom's birthday present. All I wanted was to make some pasta and eat my comfort carbs while listening to the beautiful sounds of a Capella serenade me into a food and TV coma. I sat on the couch and lost myself in the musical performances when all of the sudden BEEP BEEP BEEP OMGWTF WHY WHY WHY is this HAPPENING? I run to the stove to see that there is smoke coming from the BACK burner where an empty pan is sitting while my water sits, undisturbed, on the front burner. I fling open some windows and open the door and turn off the burner and what seems like HOURS later (but is likely only a couple of moments), the smoke alarms turn off. Then, I made some rice in the microwave because my stove confidence is now shaken. The 95th St. Snafoo Twas the Wednesday before Christmas, and all down the street folks were headed out for shopping and to grab a bite to eat Cars stopped at lights with turn signals blinking With every passing second waiting, hearts are sinking When what to my mind came a quick little thought Target before dinner with Amy or not? I made a quick glance to the lane to check availability for change lest I get in a wreck. As I returned attention to the lane I was in I saw a line of cars all stopped and much to my chagrin there was not enough space for me to make a full stop and the screech of my breaks ended in a loud clop. With a dent of a fender and a bend of a hood my night changed to rough from good. I apologized profusely embarrassed a bit by a bit I mean a ton and that's not just it. The man was gracious, and patient with me through my sheepish apologies mumbling "oh gosh I'm sorry oh gee" We exchanged information and then I took flight Merry Christmas, dear sir, and sorry for that plight.