Blog #49: Sad Songs

It's a sad song kind of day. I am inexplicably down. I allowed myself in a moment of weakness to wallow in something that I thought I was past and it grabbed ahold of me and now won't let go. Perhaps I didn't give myself enough time to process and work through it the first time and this is my psyche's way of saying that I'm not quite over it. Whatever it is, I'm accepting it for today. I always try to break the pattern of feeling sad by fighting it and posting happy thoughts and listening to happy music, but that's not really dealing with it. So, today is kind of a sad day. That's okay though because I'm pairing it with gratefulness and hope, so things are fine. Here are some of the songs I've got on repeat: Cold Hearted - Zac Brown Band Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri Insensitive - Jann Arden Someone Like You - Adele Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy Standard Lines - Dashboard Confessional Cut Here - The Cure Loving Ghosts - Vedera Torn - Natalie Imbruglia A Little Bit Stronger - Sara Evans Goodbye To Love - The Carpenters Must Have Been Love - Roxette Against All Odds - Phil Collins They are good songs to enjoy when you're feeling a little broken hearted. Let the sadness do its thing and then move on.

Blog #48: I accidentally skipped #23 in my system and now everything is a mess.

So this is me getting back on track. I know you feel cheated out of a #23... but it probably wouldn't have been that good anyway. I mean, seriously, you saw what I did when I thought I was on #25 right? Great news, today is Sunday. Sunday is the first day of the week. Friday of THIS WEEK I'm bound for Walla Walla. I CAN NOT WAIT. I'm working on making a mix CD for the trip and am so overwhelmed with all of the choices. Even after I decided that it could be a two disc set, I'm having trouble narrowing down the options. It doesn't help that as I'm trying to make it I keep running into songs that I loved when I first got them and had sort of forgotten about. Then not only do I feel like I need to add them to the CDs, but also I need to listen to them several times to give them proper attention, which slows down the song searching process significantly. Why is music so awesome? Night out was a success and might have even lead to a weekend job. Details to come. Or not. It might just be my little secret. You should watch Archer.

Blog #46: Hodge Podge

A hodge podge mixture of things to discuss: Okay, I can't communicate a thorough review of Rob Bell's Love Wins because I don't have the necessary background in theology. I will say that I am so thankful that I read it. I'm thankful that he asked the questions he asked and provided the insight that he did. It was a beautiful and moving piece of work that will appeal to many people who have been hurt by mainstream Christianity. His theology regarding Hell and the fate of "non believers" may need more Biblical support than he could provide, but I am thankful that is not for me to decide. Hell is a really difficult part of my faith to come to terms with and ultimately I believe I must trust that God is good and that He is all powerful and that one day I will fully know and understand His plan for the world. I think ultimately the question is how I will respond to this new perspective that has been presented to me. What actions do I take now that I have read the book? If it's just a feel good book that made me hopeful, then does it really do me any good? I think I will start by doing my best to be a conduit for the Love demonstrated for us in Christ that Rob Bell so beautifully described in his book. For a very thorough, thoughtful, and graceful review, check out Relevant. Moving on, I need to tell you about Jenny and Tyler. It's been said that I can be a little obsessive when I discover things I love. I prefer the term "thoroughly passionate" but am also willing to call a spade a spade and say that I can get a little obsessive. This is most true when it comes to music, television, and authors. Jenny and Tyler are a married couple that also happen to make beautiful, poignant music about faith and love and more. You can listen to their latest album in its entirety at their website. To me they are like Mat Kearney + Sixpence None the Richer + She & Him which of course = LOVE. Please check them out. In other news, Gen X radio KC is now a thing of the past. This is incredibly upsetting. The new station will be yet another pop station just like the other crappy ones KC already has. The good news for me? I no longer have to feel guilty orlike I'm being disloyal making the transition to satellite radio. Here is the email I wrote to the "new" station: Gen X was the best thing to happen to KC radio in ages. Although the songs were older, the idea was fresh and new. I heard songs that inspired nostalgia. It was impossible to listen to 99.7 for more than 15 minutes without hearing at least one song that put a smile on my face. I am very disappointed that Entercom has decided to replace it with just another clone of the other KC pop radio stations. I’ll be keeping an ear out 3 months from now when this format fails in the saturated market that is Lady Gaga and Bieber fever. Meanwhile, I will be giving up on Entercom altogether by making the switch to satellite radio. I put up with the commercial breaks when I listened to Gen X because it was worth it to me to be able to hear a Spice Girls song followed by MC Hammer. Now, however, with the changes made on the only other listenable station in Kansas City (96.5) combined with switching this station into one that will undoubtedly play the same Nickelback song 25-30 times a day (I suppose it could be different ones, they all sound the same to me.) it is no longer worth it to try to support local radio. I suppose I should thank you for removing the guilty conscience I had for considering satellite radio during a free trial anyway, as the only thing holding me back was the desire to stay loyal to a station that could go from Sir Mix a Lot to New Kids on the Block. Now that it's just another station that for reasons I don't understand thinks that Ke$ha possesses any form of talent, I can move on without looking back. Just know that I'm not the only one going. That's all for today. Tomorrow is Friday and I'm going OUT. Booyah.

Blog #45: What did I ever do to Jillian?

I started the 30 Day Shred this week. Consequently, I've been walking around like an old woman and cringing "ow, ow, ow" every time I get up after sitting for an extended period of time. Jillian Michaels is clearly angry at me for some reason. I just wish I knew why. Another effect of the early morning workouts is that it is currently 9:20 in the morning and I feel like I need a nap because I've been up since 5. It doesn't help to know that tonight is a late night with Solace House and I won't be getting home to go to my sweet, sweet bed until well after 9pm. Ack. However, the swimsuit season is slowly creeping up on me and I'd really like to have at least a modicum of tone when it comes round to the time of boating and poolside sunbathing. So, shredding it is, painful though it may be. I actually feel pretty good... in a completely intangible non physical way. The workout seemed a little easier today but then when I got out of my car when I got to work my legs nearly collapsed under me so I wasn't able to get too cocky. Here's a countdown: NINE days until I fly out to Washington for a weekend of wine and wonder with my friend Amy! I seriously can not wait. I need a vacay something fierce. Nine days is not that many days. I finished Rob Bell's newest, Love Wins yesterday. I'm still processing, but I think overall it left me feeling hopeful and yes, quite loved. I'm going to let it marinate another day or so and then see if maybe I can try my hand at writing some sort of review. Well, that's really about all the noteworthy bits and pieces of my life today.

Blog #44: I will be glad when this March Madness thing is over.

There are so many status updates and tweets that I just don't understand or care about right now. Today's blog is brought to you by Procrastination - slowing Marissa's productivity since 1984. All I need to do is write a dinky 3 page paper for my Research Design class. I could probably get it done in an hour - 2 tops. Let me tell you the story of my day avoiding writing this paper. I got up at a decent hour and went to church with the fam. With windows down on the way home to enjoy the first day of Spring, I stopped at Sonic for my customary post church drink. I got home and promptly watched a few episodes of Scrubs. Then I read a couple chapters of Rob Bell's latest (I'm controversial like that) and accidentally took a nap. (Note, in this context, accidentally means "put down my Kindle, turned to my side, and closed my eyes until I dozed off.") When I awoke from my nap I walked out into my living room to find that somehow my front door hadn't latched and the breeze from my open screen door had forced it to be open. Now, I have no clue how long my apartment was completely available to thieves and murderers and rapists as I slept, but I do know that my cat is not an adventurer and was hiding out under the dining room table. He did not trust the outside world and did not run off, thank goodness. So then I thought I should really buckle down on my paper but wouldn't a workout be great first? I did my first day of Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. I do not know what I ever did to piss Jillian off but for some reason she has it out for me. During the floor/abs portion of the workout I noticed how awful my carpet looked. It desperately needed vacuuming. That would have to happen before I could get anything else done. I drove to my parents' house and stole their vacuum because I don't have one of my own at this point. While I waited for the baking soda/oxyclean combo to settle before I vacuumed, I turned on some music and decided along with The Killers that I was more dancer than human. Finally, I got the apartment vacuumed but then had to drive the vacuum back to my parents' house. On the way back I was so proud of myself for getting that done that I stopped at Red Mango and got myself some delicious frozen yogurt and fruit. Now, here I am, back at home and ready to get busy. As soon as I finish this blog. Also, yesterday I got my hair cut. It looks like this:

Blog #43: Go Green or Go Home

It's St. Patty's Day! I, of course, am pulling out all the stops. See, it's like a pot of gold is hanging from my ears. Like I've said in other mediums: I would have gotten a shirt but they don't make any that say "I'm not Irish so I'd prefer if you kept your lips at an appropriate distance." When I said something kind of like that to my boss he responded with: "so instead of 'kiss me I'm Irish' it's 'wave at me from an appropriate distance because I'm not." He knows me so well. I've been listening to some celtic/rock/punk style music today in The Elders, Flogging Molly, and other bands on that pandora station. I ate Lucky Charms for morning. Not "breakfast" per se because I munched on them pretty continously from the time I started driving to work until about 10am. And when I say I had Lucky Charms, I really mean "I picked out all of the marshmallows from the box and ate a few of that other crap in there with them to justify my massive sugar intake." Festivities continue after work when I go to drink some green beer at Houlihans. Luck o' the Irish. I don't know what that means.

Blog #42: Warm Weather Wednesday

Ah, alliteration. You are my favorite of the literary devices, with all your similar sounds and tongue twisting ways. It is going to be like 69-70 degrees today. And sunny. I'm in the office for a good portion of it, but I leave at 3:30 on Wednesdays for internship class and THIS week is Spring Break. Now, that doesn't really mean too much for me anymore because aside from classes I have an internship and a full time job BUT... today it means something. It means that when I leave the office at 3:30... the time is mine to spend in the sunshine. I'm considering wearing a maxi dress every day. I'm a little uncomfortable with the term "maxi" in fashion but the comfort of feeling like I'm wearing a nightgown totally makes up for that. This one has navy/white stripes because I'm so obsessed with the nautical look for Spring/Summer. Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. I have something a little special planned. And I'm hoping to drink some green beer.