Monday, August 22, 2011

Blog #86:If you don't have something nice to say...

Being kind to yourself is important, especially in self talk. I know you talk to yourself. Everyone does. Maybe not out loud, but come on now. (I talk to myself out loud most when I am grocery shopping, which is likely quite disconcerting to Hyvee's other patrons.)

 Something I'm taking a step to actively work on is being less hard on myself in my self talk for making human mistakes. Even little things, like forgetting something back at my apartment or misreading a word in an email often results in me berating myself ,"Ugh, I'm such an idiot." Being forgetful or missing a small detail are really not that idiotic. In fact, most idiocy is more intentional in the face of better choices. These little things are just mistakes. I'm not sure what the overall impact is of this kind of self talk, but I had found that I was shredding myself at least once or twice a day for things that are just not big deals. It is something I would confront and question in a client, and I would NEVER stand for anyone else treating me in such a way for simply being human, so why is it alright that I do so to myself? It's not.

So, I'm trying a little perspective shift. When I catch myself in the act of self insulting after a mistake, I stop, and instead think of it as funny and endearing that I am fallible to such silly human things. For example, I started to leave for a day on the lake without my sunglasses yesterday and had to pull back into my apartment parking lot to go back in and get them. It's not a big deal, but my first instinct was, "Marissa, you moron." I caught that, and then thought about how silly it was that I was headed out for a day in the sun without glare protection. I changed my thought to, "Marissa, you're such a trip... going out without sunglasses? Hilarious!" Again, that is a teeny tiny probably insignificant example but it gets the point across. It still acknowledged my humanity without abusing myself because of it. I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of changes this simple new behavior will bring about in my mindset and self image.

How could you treat yourself with a little more kindness?

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