I'm in over my head. It's a familiar feeling. It comes up twice a year - once at the end of November and again near the end of April. I imagine that it's different this time but that could be something I think every time. It seems that near the end of every semester I feel this sense of impending doom, like I'm never going to finish everything I need to finish at the time. And every semester I think that certainly this time is exponentially worse than the past semesters for reasons x, y, and z.
But this time I think it really is different, because I'm not really that worried about getting my tasks (a research paper, a book review, a final exam, a client overview, and a presentation) done in the next 2 weeks. I always get things done. Two weeks from today they will be done, one way or the other. This time, I'm looking at my internship and feeling like I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Tonight after work I've got two clients back to back immediately followed by group. Tomorrow, group. Thursday, two more clients back to back after work. I love that I'm getting more involved, and I believe the work done at Solace House is meaningful and important. I worry that I am ineffective... that this is not one of those things that I will just be good at naturally - like school or telling jokes or making friends or putting together a great outfit. I can care... I can care a LOT, and I do.
Enough of the Debbie Downer. I have excellent news. You know how you discover a new artist on their first album, and you fall so head over heels in love with them that you both desire a new album from them with every fiber of your being while at the same time fearing that they will never be able to top or even meet the excellence that they brought you with their first album? Or maybe you only liked that first album because of where it met you in your life and anything they do that would be remotely similar would no longer be relevant or connected to you so the only way you can ever enjoy them again is with a sad nostalgia? And you know how sometimes when I get really excited I use run on sentences and talk really fast? The Airborne Toxic Event, with their self titled album in 2009, was that for me. I was smitten with them. I couldn't get enough of the poetic, raw, emotional lyrics. I wanted more. I wanted more like I wanted air. I discovered a few singles and live recordings (oxymoron) here and there a few months ago and it only whetted my TATE appetite. However, I thought of bands like Yellowcard, DCFC, Dashboard, and most heartbreaking of all, Brand New. All of those bands had disappointed me with their more recent endeavors. What if this love I'd found for TATE just breaks my heart like all the others did?
Then, finally, today they released their sophomore full length album. It was the moment of truth. I bought it on iTunes first thing this morning. I listened to it all the way through, and I fell in love all over again. TATE managed to grow as a band but keep the recognizable sound that drew me to them in the first place. The lyrics are as poetic as ever. All At Once, both the album and the title track, seem to be about coming to terms with how short life is and how fast it goes and how all of the sudden we find ourselves grown and wonder how we got to where we are, whether good or bad. It's something that I really relate to right now (see above Debbie Downer-ness).
So, if you respond to nothing else and in no other way, you should at least buy this album post haste.